Diary OF A Failed Marriage – My Home Is Broken (Part 3)

my home is broken

Dear Whitney,

Let me tell you how it all started.

You know how you set out in life to do well? You have a dream, career, family goals etc. You want to pay your parents back for all the sacrifices they have made for you. At least for most of us in Africa, that’s our general intention. You have a plan about what kind of life you want, where you want to be at a certain age and so on. So it was against this background, I decided to choose the kind of woman I wanted to build this future plan with.

I finished school early, at 21. I wasn’t very social. It was just my career and religious activities. However, I had planned my life. I knew the kind of woman I wanted to marry; I had it written down in a book while I was in school self. She must be industrious, not a push-over, and God fearing. I essentially took my criteria out of the Proverbs 21 woman. I wasn’t big on pretty girls. After I had my heart dragged mercilessly by a childhood crush, I wasn’t ready to take that risk anymore. For me, pretty girls were trouble, too much competition.

So I was using this checklist to assess my partners as I dated, till I met Sonia. This was some Five years later; I had worked in two companies now, before my current job. I was more exposed to life by this time. Well, not that I had dated much, I was just in one off-and-on relationship with Juliet. It wasn’t serious because I was mostly interested in making money and I also knew Juliet had other relationships, but I didn’t really care. I was ok with the fact that when I needed her, she was available. I never asked her what her plans for the relationship was (there is a story here but I will complete it later, back to Sonia).

Sonia was just transferred from Lagos to Port Harcourt, as the new sales supervisor in our company. As product managers, we were all introduced to her, because we had to work with her to drive our products in the market. We became quick friends, maybe because I was about the only guy who just wanted to help her settle down and wasn’t hitting her up. She would come to me for anything, from how to manage her team who felt she was too young to manage them, to inquiry about places where she could shop for things. Soon we were discussing our relationships and personal issues. She even promised to hook me up with her best friend- Ada, when she found out about my thing with Juliet.

Being close friends, I found out she had followed our Regional Manager everywhere he was transferred to. Mr. Singh, he was Indian and she also served as his P.A at the same time. So I was privy to top management information always. Colleagues couldn’t tell how I could flow so well with the Indian management because the politics was essentially an us-against them type.

Diary Of A Failed Marriage – My Home Is Broken

One evening on our way home from work, she was having a fight with her boyfriend on the phone. I didn’t know what it was about but it was very intense. When she got off the phone and started crying, I had to take her somewhere to cool off. After talking for a while, she said she wanted to come to my place to stay before going home. Well, I obliged.

This wasn’t the first time though; at this point she knew my flat mate and was frequenting my place. Even my landlady now knew who she was.

So we got to my place and I made us something to eat, while we still tried to figure out what the problem was with her relationship. It was getting very late at some point, so I took her home. At her door, she held my hands and would not release it, so I pulled her closer and kissed her fully in the lips. She was expecting it. I told her that I didn’t know how much she had invested in the relationship but that she deserved better than what she had with her boyfriend, and she said I deserved something better than my deal with Juliet too. We laughed, and that was how we started dating, Lol.

Nothing really changed at the office. Colleagues were still after her, one of them even made claims while we hung out that he had “made her”. Guys! We never gave anybody a hint that we were together. I am a natural phlegmatic, so nobody suspected anything when she would hang around my desk for most part of the day. We would choose places where we knew our colleagues will never come to or hours when we knew they would be busy. I remember we used to go the cinema during working hours because we knew none of our colleagues would be there at those times. The thrill added to the excitement of the relationship, I felt like the baddest guy in the world.

So we continued in our adventure until the day we encountered the first struggle in our relationship. It would also prove to be a constant threat to our journey for the rest of our lives…

To Be Continued…

Diary Of A Failed Marriage – My Home Is Broken

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